Should a Baby Shower Be a Surprise or Not?

A baby shower is a wonderful way to celebrate an expectant mother and the birth of her child. Showers have been given to expectant mothers for many years and they're one tradition that's still very much in vogue. In fact, for most cultures in which baby showers are customary, most mothers-to-be perhaps have even come to expect that they'll be given a shower, especially if the child is their first.

One of the big issues involved with planning a baby shower is whether or not the event should be kept a secret or whether it's best to involve the expectant mother with the planning. The truth is, this isn't a situation that has a one-size-fits-all solution. Whether or not an expectant mother will appreciate the surprise isn't something that's easily answered.

The Host Knows Best

Baby showers are usually hosted by those closest to the mother-to-be, so the host really is the one who should make this determination. Hosts typically know the woman's personality and they also likely know about the woman's physical condition. Some expectant mothers breeze through pregnancy but many women don't, especially those experiencing a difficult or high-risk pregnancy.

If the expectant mother passes the, 'She can handle a surprise' test, then do it. The baby shower is supposed to be her special day, so let her just show up and treat her like a queen. It may be one of the last times she'll be the center of attention! Planning a surprise isn't any different than planning any other type of surprise.

An invited guest should make plans to do something with the expectant mother on the date of the shower to ensure the guest of honor won't be a 'no-show'. The host should pass the guest list around to those closest to the guest of honor to make sure everyone who should be invited is. Be sure to tell guests the shower will be a surprise so no one ruins the plan, and so they park their cars away from the party location. A surprise baby shower will be easier to pull off for someone who's delivering a second or third child because she probably won't be expecting one.

When a Surprise Baby Shower Isn't a Good Idea

Some women just don't like surprises. Sometimes, so many people are involved that a surprise baby shower party just isn't feasible. Sometimes the baby has his or her own delivery date in mind. Whatever the reason, it doesn't always make sense to coordinate a surprise baby shower.

There are advantages and the biggest is that the expectant mother can be involved with the party plans. That way, she'll get exactly what she wants. She can select the shower date and location, she can put together the guest list, she can decide on decorations, and help decide what types of food and drink to serve. The only disadvantage is that she might become too involved with the planning and coordination and feel exhausted before she has a chance to be celebrated.