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View Full Version : extra curricular interests....


marabeth
01-05-2007, 11:58 AM
I'm trying to find what really interests my 11 yr old. He is a decent baseball player but hasn't wanted to play the last two years. He was intimidated by the big pitchers when he got moved up...well, now he's among the older ones (though he's not a big guy) and he thought he might want to play again. I found out about a batting coach in the area, and K-son was interested at first, but now says he doesn't want to do it (and he's a good hitter who bats mainly lefty, but can switch, too!). He says he would like to play soccer again, but the local rec league is so full of bad attitudes and lame coaches I don't even want to be around these people! There is another league, but you have to be "invited" to play by a coach who builds their own team....augh!
In a way, it might be okay if the boys aren't into team sports with our flexible schedule and us liking to travel. their dad was never into team sports and neither was I- we both were into outdoor sports. K-son had a great time on the river last year and we want to get a couple of duckies (inflatable, sit-on-top kayaks) so we can do more family river trips. We've also been biking more, the boys both enjoy skiing....it's just hard to not think that they're "supposed" to be doing the stuff most kids are doing- maybe it's just something I need to let go of.
I guess I worry sometimes, because K-man especially can be good at something, but he is not driven- he isn't interested in practicing a skill or working at something and getting better. and if he isn't instantly good at something, he'll just be really silly and not be interested at all. I've been trying to guide him toward things that he likes -he likes making movies with his camera, but is more interested in the goofy story line than learning how to use the camera well and making a story that others can understand. He likes playing with it, but I want to show him how to DEVELOP his interests. KWIM? He just finished a movie and I said, great, glad you had fun with it....but for the next one I'm going to help him plan it out a little-write out his story line, think about making some props or scenery, show him how to use the features of the camera, etc. not just turn on the camera and act silly. (believe me- he gets to be silly plenty of the time!) I think he is one of those people who makes a lot of sense in his own mind...but the rest of us don't always understand! I said to dh this morning, "I wonder what Robin Williams' mother went through?!" He's a wonderfully creative, funny kid...but needs a little direction! this morning he made snowman faces on cottonballs, then placed two on top of each other and said, "Scotty- the transporter is acting up again!" We were cracking up! but a LOT of times no one gets his jokes- and he blurts them out in the middle of a conversation about something else.
okay, I went off on a few tangents here....sorry! anyone else have trouble with finding interests your kids can "dig" into? K-man is also a huge reader and likes computer stuff- another reason we thought he website would be a neat tool for us.

Candace
01-05-2007, 12:46 PM
Mara - are our sons twins? My 9 year old is exactly the same. Exactly. Same with the team sports, same with the movie camera, same with the goofyness, same with the computer.

And I have struggled with this same thought you have - I want him to develop his interests. What we've decided to do is not push the team sports if our boys aren't interested. So far they have all tried something, but nothing has turned into a passion. I don't want to push them because then we'll be tied to the games, practices, and seasons. That is something we can definitely live without. :) We want to travel also and be free to pursue other activities. So we basically feel the same way you do about it.

We are trying to give him a rich environment filled with the things he enjoys. He enjoys computers so I am teaching him html. We also found a great download (in my oldest son's Boys' Life magazine) - you design your own video games that are played on the pc. The download is HUGE and is something dh will do with him because the program it utilizes is difficult, but this could be an introduction into programming if my son enjoys it. The download is here if you are interested in looking into it: msdn.microsoft.com/xna

I like your idea about sitting down and planning the movie - I am going to do that also. :flowerface:

marabeth
01-05-2007, 02:03 PM
thanks for the info Candace! I'm going to check that out. I think he'd really like something like that.

Lisa
01-09-2007, 08:33 AM
My oldest is the same with organized sports. He loves to play and is very good at basketball and baseball, but just for fun. He is not into the competition and such. He is really into music and has taken to the guitar and piano really well. We have tried a lot of things over the years and right now, music, Boy Scouts, helping dad with computers (has an old non-working laptop that he takes apart and puts back together weekly), and art are his passions. I just can't be worried that he doesn't care to take certain things seriously. Steven is 12 and just this year has he finally settled on scouts and music lessons. So don't give up. He will find something. Just keep trying different things!

Miss Kitty
01-16-2007, 09:07 AM
Oh I'm sitting here listening to you guys describe my 8 year old. He is very bright and reads constantly, lots of times kids don't understand his humor, and he is so uncoordinated. My 17 year old sits at his soccer games with her sweatshirt over her head or her fists in her mouth to keep from yelling.

Anyway, I have a suggestion. My kids love 4-H. There are literally hundreds of projects they can choose from and do at their own pace. They are given guide books for each level. Everything from nature to electronics to woodworking to cooking to travel, photography, bugs, birds, dogs. Hundreds. It allowed my special ed daughter to explore her interests without being compared to others. My gf has done the same with her LD child.

Now I see it will help my son because his interests don't lie where a lot of other kids do. Sports don't make sense to him.

I also agree with scouting. My son absolutely loves boys scouts and is working his way through those books like a fiend!

IN this town sports is the lifetime achievement for most of these kids and its a shame. What will they do when they are 40 and can't be the star football or basketball player? I see those guys at games screaming like Banshees and I'm embarrassed for them.

Here's the link for 4-H http://www.4husa.org/