Birds and bees talk *sensitive material*

[Girleymom3]

DD1 is 10 years old now and starting to develop (boo hoo) and I have talked to her about her changing body, that she is going to develop breasts and start her period, but now I need some help with approaching the birds and the bees with her. how did you seasoned moms handle it? I want to be open and honest with her and let her know I am here for her for any questions she may have, but how DO I get ready and what do I tell her? oh, why couldn't she just stay a little baby?!

[Twill]

I'm not sure how to handle that one either. I've decided at this point (Miss Sunshine is 10yo & I'm planning to tell her the puberty stuff over the Easter school holidays) that I'm not going to tell her the procreation part of the story. I just don't think she's ready to be that overloaded just yet. I'll tell her what shee needs to know about herself, and let her set the pace for the rest....if she asks that is. Otherwise I guess I'll have to 'take the bull by the horns' on that one too.

[coltsmama]

I personally have took baby steps with these subjects.. my dd's are 16 and 14. I personally didn't feel like they could handle all of this info at on time. As situations arose among there friends or people they knew we used those opportunities to talk about the birds and bees. Please be prepared mentally for your girls to not want to have these conversations. It is ore embarassing for them than it is for us. I think the single most important thing I have told my girls is to never do anything that you can't respect yourself for... Good luck ladies.

[prmom]

I took it slow with Emily.. kept it age appropiate and answered questions as she asked them.I believe in being totally honest with anything she asks though. Just this weekend she approached me to ask if there was any other reason to take birth control pills other than to keep from getting pregnant and I explained that yes if you were really irregular ect. Emily never seemed really uncomfortable with talking about these issues. Something I highly suggest though is to treat them with intelligence and respect. I cringe everytime I hear a 40 yr old woman saying " aunt flo".. or my " visitor".. or the " curse". How can we expect our daughters to make responsible choices about their bodies and sex when we dont use real terms. We tell our kids they have pee pees and wee wees and woo hoos and we wonder why they become so curious.. Heck woo hoo sounds alot more fun to me than Vagi**. Anyway.. that is what has worked for me and the result has been that we have intelligent conversations without embarressment or shame. Good Luck Mom.:flowerface:

[sunshine]

I guess we have it easier than most-- we live on a farm, with lots of animals. . . so my kids have seen the animals mating, and seen them giving birth -- chickens hatching, cats, dogs, rabbits, sheep, cows, horses being born. . .

so, I don't think they've ever 'not" know about the birds and the bees --- we've talked a lot about our religious beliefs, and moral beliefs as well . .. in short spurts over time.

[Lisa]

We are taking things slowly to. Just what they can handle. Steven knows a lot, but he has asked a lot. We don't play games and we have treated him with respect and talked straight to him. I am like Nancy though. We don't have "pet" names for our body parts. Jillyan, in fact, has called hers her gina (with a long "i" sound) since she was very little. I have to remind her there is a v-a in front of that. :giggle: My sis taught her daughter that hers was her "monkey" and told Jillyan to please not say "gina" in front of her dh because he would probably have a heart failure. My point is if her daughter went to someone that didn't know (school nurse) and said there was a problem with her monkey, what are they going to look for?? It is just confusing, I think. OK, got off topic, sorry. We take it slow and don't give all the info at once. Our kids don't have any problem coming to us and asking questions so that makes it really nice too.

[prmom]

Oh my gosh Lisa.. what was your sister thinking..:lol banner: I can not get the phrase " spank the monkey" ( which I have heard more than one teen repeat) out of my mind now. :giggle:

I am glad to see I am not the only anti nickname person. Now.. I can continue my quest to get grown women to use the term Period or Menstrual Cycle..:laughing:

I will never forget when I first started to explain to Emily what it would be like when she had her Period and she was shocked that it would happen EVERY month.. she just kept questioning that fact... You mean every single month.??????:yes:

[Girleymom3]

We have always used the proper names for body parts as well, I hate when I hear people using nick names too! There is nothing to be embarassed about...thats what they are called!:flowerface: DH was uncomfortable at first when the girls were little, but I insisted on it and now everyone is fine with the terms. Oh sure the girls are at the age where everything is funny, but at least they know the right way to say things!!

I have a feeling Sydney knows more than she is letting on...I know that some of the kids at her school talk in detail, so I know that I need to open that door. She knows that you have to have sex in order to get pregnant but I don't think she has her mind quite wrapped around the process yet! She has asked Daddy to get his surgery reversed to I can get pg again!:giggle: I knew this day was coming, I just didn't know it would be so soon!:balloon: I am thinking a girls day out may be in order soon!!:yes: Thanks for all the advice girls!

[NecholeW]

I remember my mom telling me about the body changes when I was 10. At that moment in time I decided I no longer wanted to be a girl. We never had the "sex" talk, she saved that for sex ed at school.

My boys know what their parts are called, but they choose to refer to them as pee pee or tee tee. I can respect that, they are not at all embarassed about it they just prefer the funny words. They know where babies come from, they aren't aware of how they get their, but they have see the dogs have babies and nurse them, so they at least have that to fall back on. I will go into more detail when they are older and seem interested, right now they are only concerned with the fact that "mommy don't have a penis"

[Lisa]

My boys did the same thing, Nechole. They know the correct word for their pen**, but they called it their pee-pee. I figured that was close enough. :giggle:

My mom had the "talk" with me when I was 8, yes, I said 8. In graphic detail and with pictures. I told dh we would NEVER have that talk that early because it made me interested in sex way too early. The way she told me was in a way that I didn't feel I could come to her with questions either. Sort-of like, here, I am going to tell you everything right now, so I never have to talk with you about it again.

[momof1son]

My mom had the "talk" with me when I was 8, yes, I said 8. In graphic detail and with pictures. I told dh we would NEVER have that talk that early because it made me interested in sex way too early.

I'm sure I'll probably change my mind when I have my own children, but for now, I would have to say I respectfully disagree. Had my mom had "the talk" with me at age 8, I would have been more confused than anything. But these days, I have (literally, I'm sad to say) met 7 & 8 year olds who know more than I do! Kids are learning much, much younger these days, and I think I would rather they learn the truth from DH and I.

[Lisa]

Well, I think having part of the talk at 8 is probably OK, just what they can handle, but when I say she showed me pictures, I am talking of sexual positions and the like. I have a little bit more time with my children also because of homeschooling them. I don't have to worry about them coming up with something someone told them at school. :hug:

[momof1son]

Well, I think having part of the talk at 8 is probably OK, just what they can handle, but when I say she showed me pictures, I am talking of sexual positions and the like.

Okay, I can totally understand NOT doing that part of it. Guess I didn't read your first post closely enough. Sorry 'bout that. I wasn't even curious about those things until I was...well...quite a bit older than 8, let's say.

[okgoatgal]

i'm lucky, too in that we have animals and the kids are just used to the "birds and the bees"
when my oldest was in 5th grade, they had the puberty talk at school. sigh. she came home, asked if she could talk to me. asked straight out what sex was, if it was when the buck did that to the doe (goats) and i said yes and she said, we do that too? and i said well, sort of, yes, pretty close. she was grossed out and still, at almost 15, insists it's nothing she's interested in doing anytime soon.
we just talk about things as they are brought up around here. i'll have to have a talk with my older son soon, but he hears soooo much in the locker room he probly knows more than i do.

[Gypsy]

We had one late bloomer and one early one, so that put them together for their birds and bees talk. The puberty talk came seperately. They were both in middle school at the time so they had seen a lot more. Personally I'd hold off on birds and bees overload. The puberty talk is a lot for them to take in. But let her know that you know she probably feels embarrassed, but you will want to talk to her about it. Let her know that you're there if she has questions about it, even before the talk. She may want to talk about it right then and there.

This may also sound strange, but their father was in on the birds and bees talk. We really wanted them to see that this type of stuff isn't kept behind closed doors at our house. It can turn up in the middle of a movie with dad, or on the way home with me. It's obviously up to you if you want to handle that the same way. It just happened to work for us. We were very open and detailed. The talk even led in to a drug and self-defense talk.

Nearly 2 years later, the girls are still very open with me about things. It's awkward at first, but if you just make that embarrassment barrior come down, it'll never go back up again. Good luck :)